ChhaviWhile a lot had already been sorted out, one worry that was still haunting me was that if I would be able to manage it all after the arrival of my baby. I had read and heard so much about delivering the child and the life afterward, that I thought my head would explode with the information and thoughts about finally having it in my hands.
I was nervous, obviously, but I was super-excited, too. I had already dreamt about my postpartum life, which I love to call my 4th trimester. Everybody had told me how it would be a life-changing experience and they did mention the dark sides too, but I was like, “No! This baby is all I’ve ever wanted. I can definitely lose sleep for it and shizz.”
And after 3 days of my due date, I gave birth naturally - like I’d wanted to. (I was happy that I made out of it alive!)
...and oh, did my life change!
Drastically so.
Though there are a lot of things that happen postpartum, I lost sleep indeed, but here are a few other things that I hadn’t thought would be so downright devastating.
Voila! I still looked pregnant.
Out of all the things I’d read or heard, I completely missed this one point in plain sight. I thought I would be free of the big belly after the delivery. But no magic here… I didn’t. This wasn’t the first thing I realised but also not the last. Okay, I admit: I didn’t look 9 months pregnant, but I looked at least 6 months pregnant. I had to work my ass off to get back into shape - which took longer than I’d predicted.
I referred to this 12-week postpartum workout plan and it really helped me to get started on my weight loss plans.
Pooping was literally a pain in the ass.
Well, We just expel an entire mini-human being out of our vay-jay and think that it’s the last time it would hurt (until you plan to go through it again) but no. Pooping is another pain that you go through after delivery. And even thinking about it can send shivers down your spine. Although a friend of mine did mention this to me, I think I just didn’t care about it then. I would just advise you to drink a lot of water and cry it out, maybe! Hope it helps. If your doctor prescribes, you can also take a stool softener to make it better.
Contractions? What?
“No period means no cramps! I’m free as long as I feed!” I’d thought. So efficiently had I forgotten that postpartum contractions just begin to occur after your uterus has delivered the baby to go back to its original shape and size. Among many more, pain killers were my new best friends.
‘No period’ didn’t really mean nature would be easy on me.
We all know that the lean period means no menstrual period, yet we bleed - fancy calling it Lochia. I had stocked up on maternity pads already and was expecting that it would be easy - at least a bit. But it was way worse than my usual period! The flow of course varies from woman to woman, and mine flew like it would never stop. I really recommend buying some huge, granny pads to spare yourself from the misery it causes.
Postpartum depression, baby blues - are real and every new mother is prone.
Just over a week after my daughter was born, I couldn’t think of anything or anyone else besides her. Seeing her was heartwarming initially but I sort of started feeling strange (guiltlessly blame it on them hormones). The feeding, holding her in my hands, her crying, her sleepy-smiles, her looking at me, my worries encircling her, and everything that I could and couldn’t think of was overwhelming. I would cry. A lot! There seemed no end to the misery. But my partner stood by me and my daughter’s smiles made it a lot better for me. Yet, the baby blues would still kick in whenever they wanted to. Nevertheless, I managed to cope with my spouse’s and our family’s support.
Postpartum depression is a more severe kind of depression that often onsets with baby blues, which are rather common. I was lucky that my symptoms didn’t turn into depression, but I’ve seen it happen to my best friend. She used to cry all the time and had difficulty bonding with her own baby. She wouldn’t talk to me or her family, or even her husband. She was lost; she couldn’t and wouldn’t take care of the child. This is a form of depression that brings out the worst in a mother - who is considered a godly figure. This made her believe that she wasn’t a good mother, which even worsened her situation. The reason why I’m detailing this is that it drives everyone around the sufferer crazy, too. There’s nothing worse than seeing a mother suffer from this pain (or anyone for that matter). She sometimes had thoughts of harming her newborn and the other times, her thoughts were for herself.
Thankfully, she got over it with adequate support and treatment.
We save the best for last, don’t we? Here come the best things that I experienced in my 4th trimester:
Mini clothes, swaddles, cribs and sheets, squeezy bottles, baby clothes, loungers, toys, and everything else is just too cute to handle.
I had my baby blues, true, but all these baby products - also, the baby - were too cute to handle. They would look straight into my eyes and ask me to touch them, cuddle them, and use them on my daughter. Breastfeeding was a little challenging for me in the initial couple of days so I had to rely on super squeezy bottles and nipples to feed my sweetpie. (Maternity bras, disposable underwear, and hot and cold gel pads became my best friends later!) I loved to use them. I loved how they’re made with utmost care and purity. I would really, really suggest you go for only the best ones. Try to look for 100% organic, parabens-, phthalates- and BPA-free products for your babies that ensure the safety of your baby for which I trust Rabitat. Toxicity is a real-world thing and it must not touch your baby. Ever.
I became humbled.
I always contemplated it but hadn’t actually experienced it until the delivery. Postpartum isn’t such a pretty sight as they show in movies. It takes you out of you. You’re literally torn, don’t want to look at yourself in the mirror, and don’t want to go anywhere at all. You’re suddenly hit by baby blues when you thought those would be the best days of your life. It was a test of sorts of love. My husband’s unconditional love was at its peak and I realized how real it is. My in-laws were all sports. I couldn’t have wanted or dreamt of more. It humbled me and gave me the strength and wisdom to raise my daughter into a humble human being, and she’s doing great at it.
Even after and along with the pain, child-birth is the best experience I’ve ever had.
Nothing can beat that. No gain in life and no achievement whatsoever. I had my bad days, I repeat, but they were outshone by the good days I had (and still have). The good days were the best days and I couldn’t thank God less. Her smile is the best in the world. Even though I didn’t fully understand and comprehend her emotions back then, I knew that she’s special to me. I know that she’s what will keep her parents together and inseparable. But she isn’t just that. She is the reason I smile and the reason I can forget everything else in the world. The fear of pooping, the pain of contractions, the bleeding, the baby blues - all were new and temporary. My baby’s smile and presence were permanent and ready to grow old. And so is my happiness.
I hope you enjoy your 4th trimester the best way you should. I wish you and your bunny a happy, healthy life that fills yours with positivity and care.
Happy Mommy-ing!
